Why now
Laying in bed unable to sleep, which is quite often, I regularly assess
my life to see where I went wrong and how I ended up here. I am a great
believer in the law of unintended consequence so tend to think through
the might-have-beens and their possible outcomes. I have come to realise
that the life I had was the only possible life for me and probably the
best that I could ever get. In saying this, I am ignoring my four
children, all of my grandchildren and my wonderful wife, Valerie,
because it need not be said that anything that might have been that
would have changed that story would not have been desirable. These
meanderings during the darkness are just that – meanderings. I
have just been listening to Roger Moore read his Autobiography on Radio
4. One small fact you may not know is that Roger Moore went to the same
school as me. His early years as described in this book were as bland as
can be – the highlight seems to have been going to the Streatham
Locarno, and infamous South London Dance Hall. It seems to me that I did
a lot more in my first 18 years than he ever did. This set me thinking
that if he could relate the humdrum, then maybe I could do the same. His
life story will improve in interest as he moves along. Mine will keep in
the humdrum. The decision to write an autobiography was born at that
time.
The chronology will not be the only criterion when it comes to the
ordering of events. Some things are better progressed on their own and I
will then revert back to the time line.
Just to be sure that everything is clear, this is not a history of the
family – just my life. I realise how that must sound but to attempt to
analyse what everyone else was doing and how they were coping and
reacting would be far too much a task for me, so what you will get is me
– me – me with everyone else as a bit player in the ‘drama’. I am also
not going to get involved in opinions of others or events. I will try to
keep this record just to events and my feelings, where appropriate.
Thinking about how an autobiography might work, I realised that I would
have to start much earlier than that day at the end of the war when my
first screams were heard. However, I am very aware that there are many
things that my parents knew and experienced that are now lost to me and
hence to posterity. Nothing that Charlie and Ivy did carried any large
import or affect on the world but it was their life and it’s now lost. I
will start the story from the earliest things that I know about their
lives and then go onward. |